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As it turns out, the possibility of nuclear war was not the worst crisis that Donald Trump faced in the last week. The embattled President of the United States was blasted for defending neo-Nazis, lashing out at the “alt-left,” and doubling down on his statements that “both sides” were to blame for the chaos in Charlottesville, Virginia over the weekend that ended with one woman dead and 19 others injured when a man drove his car into a crowd of counter-protestors. Jimmy Kimmel used his monologue on the Tuesday night edition of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live to address Trump’s outrageous press conference.
“I wouldn’t be lying if I said I would feel more comfortable if Cersei Lannister was running this country,” said Kimmel,
noting, “ I don’t know who decided it would be a good idea to send him
out there to talk to reporters today, but whoever did obviously misread
his state of mind and the mood in this country right now. I think I can
say this with reasonable certainty, the president is completely
unhinged. The wheels are off the wagon and hurtling through space.”
Kimmel
reached across the aisle with both hands as he addressed Trump voters. “
I want to say I get it. I actually do. You were unhappy with the way
things were going. You wanted someone to come in and shake things up.
You didn’t want business as usual – nothing ever seems to get done –
it’s always the same — these candidates make a lot of promises that go
nowhere – it happens over and over again…and you’re sick of it,” he
admits. “ And then this guy shows up riding down a golden escalator —
he’s not a part of the political establishment; in fact, he’s the
opposite of that… Let’s roll the dice. Let him get in there and run the
country like a business.”
The
host then proceeds to list his offenses. “ He signs a ban on Muslims
that he claims isn’t a ban on Muslims. He compliments the President of
the Philippines for murdering drug addicts. Hours after a terror attack
in London, he starts a fight with their mayor. After criticizing Obama
for playing golf, he plays golf every weekend. He accidentally shares
classified intelligence with the Russians. He tweets a typo at
midnight, wakes up and claims it was a secret message. He praises Jim
Comey in October and calls him a coward in June. He fires him. He
lashes out at his own attorney general for recusing him from the
investigation. He hires the Mooch – and fires the Mooch. He bans the
transgendered from the military without telling anyone in the military
he’s doing it.
He plays chicken with Kim Jong Un. And that’s just some
of the list… If I went through all of it, it would be longer than the
menu at the Cheesecake Factory. He is, by every reasonable account —
and I’m using his own favorite words here — a ‘total disaster.’… But
you’ve been trying to ignore it – because you don’t want to admit that
these smug, annoying liberals were right! It’s the last thing you want
to do. But the truth is — and deep down inside you know you made a
mistake, you know this is true – you made a mistake. You picked the
wrong guy.”
It
is here that Kimmel makes a bold proposition: removing Trump as
President and installing him as the first King of America, a figurehead
who’s far away from political power. “ England has a Queen,” he
explains. “She lives in a palace – everyone makes a big deal when she
shows up – she has no power at all. In the morning, they put a crown on
her head and she stands there and waves, she goes back to bed. That’s
it. If the Queen were to walk out on her balcony and strip off her top,
nothing over there would change.
The Queen could be completely bonkers
– it would make no difference. She’d still be Queen, it’d still be
fine. That’s what we need to do with Donald Trump. We need to set him
up in castle – maybe in Florida – lead him to the top, and then lock the
door to that castle. Everyone can call him ‘Your Highness’ – maybe we
give him a scepter – and that’s that. He can sit there watching Fox and Friends, maybe
chip a few golf balls out the window of his tower. There’s no way he
turns that deal down – and we need to get creative here because enough
is enough. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I’m asking
you, the people who supported Donald Trump, to step in and help for the
good of this country. Mike Pence is ready, he’s boring. He’s relatively
sane. He looks like a friendly neighbor you would borrow a lawn mower
from. Let’s get him in there before it’s too late. Let’s make America
Great Britain again!”
The late-night shows had to scramble Tuesday to rewrite and add new segments following President Trump’s planned infrastructure press conference that quickly spiraled into him doubling down on comments he made over the weekend blaming “both sides” for the violent unrest in Charlottesville, Virginia. It came just a day after Trump condemned white supremacists, neo-Nazis, and the KKK over the riots that left one counter-protester dead.
On Late Night, host Seth Meyers analyzed the president’s latest statements in his “Breaking Crazy” segment and said the Tuesday press conference could “only be described as clinically insane.”
“You know that list of side effects at the end of a pharmaceutical ad?” Meyers asked. “He apparently has all of them.”
“Buddy, we’ve been asking ourselves that since January,” Meyers retorted to huge applause from his audience.
Pointing out the crossed-arm, bowed-head, seemingly defeated look of the president’s new chief of staff, ret. Gen. John Kelly, during the press conference, Meyers said, “Look at that guy. Trump is so fully out of his mind, he broke a general. That guy’s been in wars.” Meyers then implored Congress to impeach Trump, comparing him to “a bad waitress in a crappy diner who’s trying to get fired so she can go to a concert.”
“Cut bait on the president. It’s time to let this crazy bitch go to the concert,” Meyers pleaded.
Watch the full segment above.
Late Night With Seth Meyers airs weeknights at 12:35 a.m. ET on NBC.
You have to admit, the slogan is catchy!
Fellow late night hosts Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert also had unkind words for Trump,
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